Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
