Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
