i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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