pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
