So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize