Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
