I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
