6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
