man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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