How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So many bounce houses so little time
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
