Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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