No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
