you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
