NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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