The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
