I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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