I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
