Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
