No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
