I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There's always time for handjobs
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
