I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
