Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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