if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
