Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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