So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
