She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
