she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
