It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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