yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
