i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Drake has all the answers
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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