Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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