awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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