so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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