I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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