as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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