those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize