Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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