i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
