He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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