i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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