Pappa wants mamma naked
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
