to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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