The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize