My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
