I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
