I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
