4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
