then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
