look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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