can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i think my cat just said my name.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
