Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
