She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
