it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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