I cockslap morals
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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