After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
