Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
